Lovey's Tired and True Recipes

Welcome to the Feral Housewife's Kitchen! Yep, that's me - Lovey the feral housewife.I love to cook, not clean, and I'm here to make your dinner plans easy. Scroll through, pick your favorites, and surprise your family with a meal that's as wild and wonderful as you are. No fuss, just flavor!

Fire and Smoke Salisbury Steak

Gather All The Things:4 SLICES WHITE SANDWICH BREAD, CRUSTS OFF AND DICED LIKE YOU MEAN IT⅓ CUP + 2 TBSP WHOLE MILK (WE’RE KEEPING IT RICH, Y’ALL)2 LBS GROUND BEEF (20% FAT FOR THAT JUICY BITE—TRUST ME)½ MEDIUM YELLOW ONION, FINELY CHOPPED (DICE IT TWICE)2 LARGE EGG YOLKS (BECAUSE WE’RE FANCY LIKE THAT)
2 TBSP BURGER ROYALE SEASONING (OR YOUR KITCHEN’S BEST SECRET WEAPON)GENEROUS GRATING OF BLACK PEPPER (DON’T BE SHY!)
KOSHER SALT, TO TASTE (WE’RE AIMING FOR CHEF’S KISS)2 TBSP NEUTRAL OIL, PLUS A DASH MORE IF NEEDED1 (16 OZ) PACK CREMINI MUSHROOMS (KEEPING IT CLASSY)1 (1 OZ) PACKET BROWN GRAVY MIX (BIG FLAVOR, NO SWEAT)1 TBSP KETCHUP (BECAUSE MOM’S WAY ALWAYS WINS)

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INSTRUCTIONS:
1. GET THAT BREAD SOAKIN’:
TOSS THE DICED BREAD IN A BOWL WITH THE MILK. GET IN THERE WITH YOUR FINGERS, LET IT SOAK UP LIKE A SPONGE, AND SET IT ASIDE.
2. MIX THAT MEAT, HONEY:
IN A BIG OL’ MIXING BOWL, DROP IN YOUR GROUND BEEF, HALF THE ONION, EGG YOLKS (FANCY, REMEMBER?), BURGER ROYALE SEASONING, AND ENOUGH BLACK PEPPER TO MAKE YOU SMILE. ADD YOUR BREAD-MILK MIXTURE AND MIX WITH THOSE CLEAN HANDS OR LET YOUR STAND MIXER DO THE WORK.
3. TASTE TEST TIME:
MAKE A TINY, GRAPE-SIZED BALL OF THAT MEAT MIX, ZAP IT IN THE MICROWAVE FOR 15 SECONDS, AND TASTE. ADJUST THE SEASONING TO GET IT JUST RIGHT—THIS IS YOUR SNEAK SNACK!
4. SHAPE LIKE YOU MEAN IT:
FORM 4 HEFTY, BASEBALL-SIZED BALLS. FLATTEN THEM INTO THICK, STEAK-LIKE PATTIES AND DIMPLE THE TOPS WITH YOUR FINGER—BECAUSE, WHY NOT?
5. SKILLET SIZZLE:
HEAT YOUR CAST-IRON SKILLET WITH OIL OVER MEDIUM-HIGH UNTIL IT SHIMMIES. ADD THE PATTIES, DIMPLE SIDE UP. COOK FOR 8 MINUTES PER SIDE, ROTATING FOR THAT PERFECT BROWN. REPEAT UNTIL THE CENTERS HIT A SOLID 145°F. TRANSFER TO A PLATTER AND KEEP 1 TBSP OF OIL IN THE SKILLET.
6. MUSHROOM MAGIC:
CRANK UP THE HEAT AND LET THOSE MUSHROOMS SIZZLE. STIR UNTIL THEY RELEASE THEIR JUICES AND THE PAN LOOKS LIKE A MASTERPIECE. COOK FOR ANOTHER 4-5 MINUTES UNTIL GOLDEN.
7. WHIP UP THE GRAVY:
FOLLOW THE PACKAGE DIRECTIONS FOR THE GRAVY MIX BUT ADD AN EXTRA ½ CUP OF WATER (TRUST ME, YOU’LL WANT MORE TO MOP UP). ONCE IT BOILS, SET IT ASIDE.
8. KETCHUP HUSTLE:
ADD THE REMAINING ONION TO THE SKILLET. COOK UNTIL GOLDEN, 2-3 MINUTES, THEN MIX IN THE KETCHUP FOR A PUNCH OF FLAVOR. POUR IN THAT WARM, RICH GRAVY AND STIR IT ALL TOGETHER.
9. THE GRAND FINALE:
SLIDE THE STEAKS BACK INTO THE SKILLET AND SPOON THAT SAUCY GOODNESS ALL OVER. LET THEM SOAK AND SIMMER UNTIL WARMED THROUGH. SERVE HOT WITH MASHED POTATOES AND PEAS FOR THE ULTIMATE COMFORT.

Jerry's Fav Canine Cuisine

Vet-Recommended Homemade Dog Food Recipe for Large Dogs
Crafting healthy, balanced meals for your large dog is simple with the right mix of ingredients. A nutritious diet should include:
• Protein: At least 10% from sources like turkey, chicken, or lean beef.
• Carbohydrates: Up to 50% from options such as whole wheat pasta, brown rice, or rolled oats (also provides fiber).
• Vegetables: 2.5-4.5% fiber from veggies like carrots, zucchini, and broccoli.
• Healthy Fat: At least 5.5%, such as from vegetable oil.
• Supplements: Dog-specific vitamins and minerals for a complete diet.
Large Batch Tip:
Combine approximately 5 lbs of lean ground turkey, 2 lbs of whole wheat pasta, brown rice, or rolled oats, and a variety of finely chopped veggies (e.g., carrots, zucchini, broccoli) for a balanced meal. Always consult with your vet or a canine nutritionist to ensure the meal meets your dog’s specific dietary needs.